


Replacement

by celluloidbroomcloset



Category: The Avengers (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celluloidbroomcloset/pseuds/celluloidbroomcloset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steed awakes in the middle of the night, feeling troubled about his relationship with Tara and some past relationships he can't let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Replacement

Steed moved out of the bed, taking care not to disturb the woman cuddled down on the opposite side. He descended the winding staircase to the living room and, for a moment, stood there at a loss. Then he moved to the sideboard.

Ordinarily after such exertions, he would have slept long in the dreamless haze of post-coital exhaustion. But he was restless. As he splashed a healthy dose of brandy into the glass, he acknowledged that he had been restless for many months. He didn’t sleep very well after…

Steed swallowed half his drink and moved to the window. He had not thought of her in months, or so he liked to tell himself. The truth, though, was that she was there, in every aspect of his life, every corner of his flat. He could still smell her on his sheets, no matter how many times he washed them. He had not spoken her name and would not stand to hear others speak it – didn’t that say enough about how she was always there? You don’t forget someone by bristling at the very sound of her name.

You also don’t replace one woman with another. Perhaps that was what kept him up now. He did not quite regret the decision that brought Tara into his bed that night. It had been inevitable, in some ways. She’d been tender, and he needed tenderness. He needed someone to need him. And when he saw that look in her eyes – that expression of need so acute that it took him back to being a young man and both more passionate and more foolish – he wanted to satisfy that need. So he’d taken her hand and led her upstairs.

Steed closed his eyes. It was so sweet, so gentle, and simple. She wanted so badly to please him, and that too stroked his vanity. Perhaps he’d been selfish, taking her the way he did, fooling himself into believing this was what she wanted and not a shot to his injured ego. She did want him, that much had been clear from the very beginning, and he didn’t mind admitting that he was flattered by the attentions of a woman so much younger than himself. Her vibrancy made him open his eyes a little wider, her often naïve belief in him swelled his pride and his hope that he had still had something to teach. But he couldn’t shake the sense that he had also done something inherently, even cruelly, selfish.

When his eyes opened again, he looked down at the empty street below his window. His chest tightened with a familiar ache. His hand closed hard around the cold, empty glass.


End file.
